Poverty/Memphis

Please check Stew's blog out with today's entry...i can't link it b/c i don't know how. haha! but go to "stew's blog" on the side bar of this page and read what he wrote about memphis poverty. It is good for all our hearts and hands to read that and change.

Another one of our favorite movies:

New Movie Release!

REALITY....

I just wanted to share about a reality moment in our household so that you might see the reality of life that happens in the Stewart household.

So often in conversations and blog posts and letters to friends and family we can be misleading about the reality of our lives. I want to portray that all is perfect, simple, joyful in every way. And in reality, it is at times, but the other reality is that it can be hard, frustrating and down right low feeling. And that is just what happened to me yesterday.

I told Stew that i was done. done!?!!? With being a wife and a mother. That is pretty scary to think, as i type this, but i said it! And so stew listened to me as i vented of my day and mocked all of the toddler books i had read or advice i had been given from godly women. I found every circumstance in our life as completely miserable and shared that too. Then i proceeded to my appearance...complaining about every way God had made me. I didn't want to do anything i was in the role of doing. Finally after an hour...stew held me and showed me the grace of God and helped me to see the big picture and true reality. Though I listened, my heart was still bitter and i went to bed saying that i was at the lowest point in my life.
But I got up early after feeding sally and began to pray. I knew that God was Attentive (Psalm 34:15) and Almighty (Jeremiah 32:18b-19a), so i just prayed those verses and asked for help. In my devotional reading (which is on contentment) i read Hebrews 12:3-4:

For Consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls. you have not yet resisted to bloodshed, striving against sin.

And God's grace and rescue came to me. Did he change yesterday or will he keep the trials away from today? no, but when i consider Christ, i will not become weary and discouraged...i can continue to strive against sin and be sustained in His grace and strength to be the person he has called me to be.

So to sum it up...the reality is that my kids aren't always compliant with what i want them to do. I can take things personal and wrap my identity in them. I can not know really how to train at times. My house can be a wreck and i've had no time to spend with the Lord. Everything can break down and everyone can be rude to me. I can scream and want to quit....but the better reality is Christ and when I consider Him, all else fades away and I am not weary or discouraged and continue in the journey He has set out for me.

I'll continue to share all the real joys of our life with you all, but just know that there is more to the reality than what you always hear. But be assured, I am still a wife and mother and desiring to embrace that in everyway! God's grace is always sufficient. Glad to know that God doesn't take what we say or desire in a fleeting way and make it happen! haha!! Thanks for letting me share.

Little sis and me! She is doing great and growing so much! Her BigBro, was too busy to take a picture!

my brother came to visit us from TX. We went to the children's museum and had a great time! He enjoyed seeing the sites of memphis! Love you Kev!

Our friend, Trey (holding the bike) painted his bike gold and wesley-grant LOVED it! SO they gave him a ride on it...he was lovin it! Mark and Trey live in our neighborhood and take care of our yard work...we have seen them come so far since the first time we met them. They mean a lot to us.

Jeudi and Linda came to bring us lunch and hang out today!! Jeudi is from Spain and Linda from Mexico...they just got engaged!! They told us about their recent trip to Spain and their heart for reaching the young people there for Christ. They are both going to school in the states and Jeudi is working at our church here in memphis...they will be married next summer. Congratulations Jeudi and Linda!! We had so much fun today! We love you guys! And Jeudi, "You speak english very well...haha!!"

"Are you guys just gonna leave me here??"

"UMMM, that was either a tornado that went by or that boy they keep calling wesley-grant"

DONNIE turned 16!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DONNIE!! WE LOVE YOU!

Let's just say, "SOCIALLY AWKWARD"....

Well, i ventured out for my birthday (the 15th...still catching up) to Starbucks...Stew told me to spend the morning by myself there relaxing, journaling...reading and sippin on some good ole latte!! yum! So i ventured out....

As i drove there, i felt like everything was so bright....hadn't gotten out of the house in a while...oh, well...a million thoughts went through my mind as i was deciding what i would drink, read and write....i arrived at Starbucks ready to go, but when i entered through the door and saw all the people, something came over me..."social awkwardness!" to say the least....i saw all these people drinking, reading and chatting and just felt like i didn't even know how to act around adults! crazy, i know!! but it happened...i went to the counter to order my drink and she nicely welcomed me and asked what i would like and i said, "This is for here" DUH!!!! why would i be in there? if it were to go, i would have gone to the drive thru and who ever says that at starbucks anyway! (OneTOO MANY MCDONALD'S for me i would say!) the lady looked at me like i was "SOCIALLY AWKWARD" and said, can i get you a drink...after 10 minutes of deciding, i ordered a drink but totally forgot to tell them iced b/c it was 200 degrees outside and then i ordered a pastry and she asked if i wanted it on a plate or in a bag....i guess this would have been where the "for here" would be okay....but instead i told her to put it in a bag, as if it were to go!! ...i promply paid her and sat waiting for my drink....I was so insecure!! ha! i tried to laugh at it and start reading or writing...but i couldn't.....just kept looking around at people...i didn't know what to do with myself without kids, husband or dirty diapers to change! So, after 30 mins of looking around and trying to sip my HOT latte, i left. We'll try again later....

And so, it happened AGAIN!!! Except this time it was at an eye doctor. I have a stye under my eyelid that needs to be drained surgically and so i went to a specialist...i had been trying to plan this appointment for 4 months. SO i arrived...I forgot my insurance card...(in the diaper bag)...forgot contact case....(in wesley-grant's toybox)....and glasses (which wesley-grant broke both ear pieces and i have tape around them like a nerd!) Well, we worked through all that and now i was seen into the medical room. I couldn't even see the doctor or her nurse b/c i had my contacts out, so i don't even know if i was looking at them half the time! They began with a list of questions about medical history and about the only one i could answer was my name, oh and the condition i was being seen for, of which i TOTALLY mispronounced!! I told them i was sorry i wasn't answering their questions very well, but that i had "2 kids in 2 years"....What in the world did that mean???!!!!?!?!?!! AWKWARD!!!!!!!! anyway, the doctor asked me how old my children where and i told her wesley-grant was "20 mos. year old"! They asked me who my optometrist was and i told them i didn't have one that i bought my contacts on "contacts.com"....then they said it was so cold in the room and appologized which i responded with "no problem, i have a built in heater" (meaning i was breastfeeding and was hot b/c of hormones) and proceeded to explain, "i have 2 heaters b/c i am nursing my little girl".....WHAT?!!!! Okay, at this point i wanted to just get up and leave...but i continued to embarass myself with more crazy coments.....i'll spare you! but again, "SOCIALLY AWKWARD"!!!!

there are more, but i'll let you just laugh at that for a while......thanks for letting me vent my "SOCAILLY AWKWARD" moments........i really need to get out more often!! or maybe this is just part of being a mother!